Itmade my anxiety quiet down, which was something I’d failed to figure out how to do for the majority of my life. For the first time, I was able to let go of my rigid self-awareness and just be in the moment. As I’d done many times in the past, I woke up in my sophomore dorm room one Sunday morning and began to retrace my steps from the night before. I’d misplaced them all the previous night — one I hadlittle recollection of. I grew up in a drug and alcohol fueled home, with drug use and physical abuse being the highlight of my childhood remembrance.
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She was being raised in an old world male-dominated society. We would see each other for vacation breaks and long weekends. When we were first dating she would have to be back home by the time the street lights came on. We carried on sober success stories this long-distance relationship for over five years before we were married during the summer before my third year of medical school. While we were dating, I kept the quantity of my alcohol and most of my substance use a secret from her. In one life I was the good student and boyfriend turned fiancé, and in the other I was the unfaithful drunk pothead.
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I spent 5 days in county jail and kicked all drugs and alcohol in a cell with a meth addict who I thought was going to kill me. I was released on bail and begged the judge to send me to a program, which she did. When I stopped drinking alcohol, I was desperate to know the stories of other people who’d also taken this road less traveled. During the most unsettling time of my life, I craved all the messy, tragic, complex, wonderful stories that could show me what was on the other side. Nobody in my real life could meet that need, so I turned—as I always do when I need comfort, encouragement, or inspiration—to books.
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I structured my class schedule so as to not interfere with my alcohol and drug use, incorporating a large break between morning and late afternoon classes in which I could get all my studying done. I again excelled in school, graduating with a 4.0 GPA and several individual honors. I had completed all except two course credits for my degree within three years and spent my final year engaged in analytical chemistry research for the last two credits.
Knowing she couldn’t keep putting herself Twelve-step program and her family and friends through this, Laura returned home and sought help. Understanding she couldn’t handle this on her own and admitting she neededdrug interventionwas the first step to getting her life back. Something else that has also helped me to stay sober for four years is being open and honest with the people in my life. I have always been very public and transparent about my drinking and my recovery. Some people may not understand this choice, but the majority of people are supportive of it.
- I couldn’t wait for the workday to end so I could get to my car and have a good dose of alcohol from the bottle under the seat.
- Eventually my drinking led to a long period of Incarceration.
- I looked forward to Fridays and Saturdays all week, as I considered those the days I was “allowed” to drink.
- Sarah was a successful lawyer, but her crippling alcohol addiction overshadowed her achievements.
- Also, sobriety helped me to see that I needed help for myunderlying mental illness, which drinking had both exacerbated and falsely soothed.
The following morning, after the kids were off to school, I told my wife that I was an alcoholic and that I was seeking help. She didn’t realize how much lying is an integral part of alcoholism. She then began to question me about any other lies I told in the past.